


"Take me out to the ballgame"

by mythras_fire



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Drabble, M/M, tribute!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-11
Updated: 2010-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-07 12:16:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/431084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythras_fire/pseuds/mythras_fire





	"Take me out to the ballgame"

**********

“So, where am I supposed to stand?”

“You’re right handed?”

“Yeah, what’s that got to do with it?”

“Oh My God could you *be* any more British?”

“Probably not. We play cricket. And footie. Not baseball.”

“And rugby. Don’t forget the rugby.”

“Exactly. And since when do you know anything about baseball? You’re Irish.”

“Oh that’s right, Bradley, I forgot that my nationality precludes my ability to learn the national pastimes of other countries, what was I thinking.”

“Idiot. Ok so where did you learn about the game?”

“One of me mates back home spent a couple summers in America visiting relatives as a teen and went to a lot of their games, the season takes place over the height of summer when the weather is nicest. His relatives are huge fans of the Minnesota Twins and got a little carried away explaining the game to him when they’d go so he came back sayin’ that it sounded kind of fun, actually.”

“So is that why we’re out here today freezing our bollocks off waving sticks around?”

“They’re called bats you prat. And yes, you were driving me crazy in there what with your foot-tapping and constant yelling at the telly. You know that’s not going to make Uni score goals any faster, right? Nor will yelling epithets into the ether at Beckham magically get him to come back. So the sooner we get started, the faster we’ll warm up and the more your horizons will be broadened.”

“My horizons are broad enough, thankyouverymuch. Not everyone is as obsessed with learning new things as constantly as you are, you know. Some of us are ok with being woefully lacking in knowledge of other countries’ ideas of sport.”

“Do I have to drag Richard out here so he can give you ‘the eyebrow’? Oh, I know, even better, I’ll just go get Katie and Angel and tell them to play in your stead because you can’t be bothered to learn how to play baseball because you’re too happy being ignorant and British.”

“Tell me again why I ever thought it was a good idea asking you out, Colin? Now I know there must have been something my mother told me growing up that I should have been listening to. Something about don’t ever let charming, skinny Irishmen with big ears weave their way into your heart with their beautifully expressive eyes and that magical Irish lilt for it will be the death of you, standing out in the chill air whilst holding a “bat” and waiting for someone to throw a laced rubber ball at you as hard as they possibly can.”

“Yes, I’m sure that’s exactly what she forewarned you against and this is your punishment for not listening to her. And the ball is wrapped in twine, not rubber, and sewn over with a leather skin. Now stand here and place your feet like so, turn your head this way and hold the bat out away from your body like this, one hand on top of the other, here. No, like this. Ok. And stay that way till I get to that spot over there that will be the mound.”

“I feel stupid standing here like a statue. Where do I go after I swing the bat? I do suppose I am to swing the bat and not just hope that you’re going to throw the ball at it right?”

“You’re going to run over that way next to the patch of mud there which we’ll call first base.”

“First base, eh? Hey, I’m liking this game already! Is there a second and third base, too?”

“Yes, you bloody cheek, and if you’re really good you might hit a home run and slide into home plate to win the game. Three cheers to the victor and all that.”

“Ohhhhh, I like the sound of that.”

“Thought you might. Ok, I’m going to pitch the ball to you and you’ll have to go get it when you miss cuz I only have the one with me today.”

“‘When’ I miss? I’ll have you know that I have excellent hand-eye coordination. I didn’t learn how to do all that swordplay with the knights solely from the trainer you know.”

*snort* “Oh, so you and the knights already had a handle on the swordplay, did you? That must have been fun ‘practicing’ day in and day out…”

“Now who’s the bloody cheek? Do players ever hit the pitcher when they swing at the ball?”

“Yes, sometimes, if they hit a line drive that is too fast for the pitcher to move out of the way. But I’ll bet dinner tonight that you won’t be able to hit the broad side of a barn, much less me, today.”

“Dinner and a blow job and you’re on.”

*overly dramatic sigh* “Oh, Bradley, you are so romantic, I hardly know what to do with myself sometimes.”

“I can think of a few things… hey! That just barely missed my head! I thought you were supposed to tell me when you’re going to throw the ball. And then, not at me, but at the bloody bat!”

“That’s what they call a little chin music, darlin'. Get used to it. Now be a dear and go get me the ball… Wow, so that’s what ‘throwing like a girl’ must look like hahahaha, I had always wondered...”

 

The End


End file.
